This will sound dramatic, but I feel like I am being bombarded with baby news everywhere I turn. I came off Facebook to avoid the constant triggers, but that isn't enough. This morning my Dad just casually mentioned that one of my cousins has had their second baby. Yesterday Mum told me that another cousin … Continue reading Bombarded
Thought I was doing a good job of holding things together since the latest loss. I'm not. This afternoon, I felt like the sky came crashing down. My brother messaged me out of the blue. They're pregnant. It's their second child. I love my nephew so much, and I am happy for my brother and … Continue reading Floodgates
A few years ago in Sydney (not long after my second miscarriage) I signed up for an 8 week evening course "Get Your Shit Together". It is fair to say that today, my shit is definitely not together! I'm back in a funk. Sleepless nights, crying, lots of anger. It could be that my period … Continue reading G-Y-S-T
After a blissful long weekend in Maldives I'm back in Singapore. Feeling very low this week. The morning I got back I had a scan at the hospital. It wasn't good. The drugs they gave me helped to trigger my period, but when it came it only lasted a day and I knew something wasn't … Continue reading Let down
I was naively expecting to wake up from the surgery and be filled with hope and positivity...ready to move on to the next stage in this journey. The reality was quite different! Being naturally optimistic is generally a good thing for me, but it does mean I fall hard when things don't work out. The … Continue reading Evacuation complete!
I'm finding the holidays very difficult. I tried to ignore Christmas by going away to a country that doesn't celebrate, and to a place with no phone reception. That worked! But it was only temporary! (Sri Lanka was a brilliant place to escape too! And the safari was fantastic). I have all these feelings about … Continue reading Shaky foundations
On my way to the clinic to get my blood drawn for the second time after a lab mixup with 17 of the tubes they drew last time. I'm feeling very fed up today and didn't sleep well last night. There was a huge thunderstorm and I just lay there listening to it passing over. … Continue reading And begin again