New beginnings

There’s a lot going on right now. One thing that’s not going on is my period! It has been almost 2 months since the miscarriage and 6 weeks since the surgery and my period hasn’t come back yet. I’ve got a tonne of work travel on this month and have no weekdays in Singapore until May but luckily managed to get an appointment for a scan this morning. My Doctor says things look ok and thinks my missing period could be stress related. I’m on some hormone tablets to give my menstrual cycle a big boost for a week and hopefully it will come after that. It’s so frustrating because until my period arrives I can’t think about trying again. It’s already April and it feels like this year is slipping away, just like the past 2.

I started this pathway at 35, I’ll be 38 this year. I get wild pangs of rage at everything that has happened (or not happened).

In my last post I had talked about how supportive of the London relocation my boss is. Sadly the senior leaders in our company didn’t share this support and told him its a non-starter. I’m not going to lie, hearing that really hurts. I resigned the same day (Wednesday) and it feels pretty good to know that I’m taking decisions and trying to move forwards. I wish my company could have been more flexible, and I really don’t think what I was asking for was unreasonable, my boss was totally supportive, but sometimes our company is short sighted, and narrow minded. And I think that’s what has happened here. I’ll keep in touch with the organisation, I’ve worked here since I was 19 years old so there’s a lot of history and a lot of friendships. There may be opportunities to work with the company again a some future point in time, or there may not. Life goes on.

My Dad told me he’s proud with my bold move, and I know both Mum and Dad are really happy that I’m coming back to Europe. I feel awful when I think of the worry I cause them by being over here and in these dark patches, hating my life in Singapore and feeling so unfulfilled. I wish I could take away their worry.

I’ll find something to do, but might give myself a few months to do some fertility work and relax, maybe visit friends and family I haven’t seen for a while.

Last week I was in Japan, and I’m flying back again tomorrow for the week. It’s Sakura (Cherry blossom) season and one of my favourite times of year. I took this photo the morning I resigned, before I had any idea that I would be quitting! Spring, fresh starts, new beginnings!

2 thoughts on “New beginnings

  1. I hope you feel better soon. And you’re truly inspiring and headstrong to keep moving forward. The cherry blossoms will bring you happiness and the next chapter of your story. Thanks for sharing. ❤️

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