Compassion & kick-ass warriors

Was there something in the water? This week three friends have announced their pregnancies. Each time I am hit with a mixture of happiness and joy for them, and jealousy and bitterness. Will this go away if I have a child? Or will I always feel a pang or resentment towards friends who seem to not struggle in this journey to conceive? And I know I am just kidding myself that others have it easier, who knows what hurdles they have cleared to get to their cheesy Facebook announcement!

A friend at work just told me that she has miscarried. We work together and over the past couple of weeks I’d been getting a little frustrated with her over various things. Everything makes sense now, of course she was distracted and no doubt exhausted. Now I feel like a cow for not stopping to think that she might have her own problems and situations to deal with. It is so easy to get caught up in our own misery and not notice that people around us are hurting too.

The news from my friend has really got me thinking. We all have our battles. And pregnancy loss is awful whoever it happens to. I realise how short sighted I have been to think it is any worse for a childless single person than it is for a couple or someone with children already. It is not worse. It is different.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we suffer these setbacks but somehow keep going. Pick ourselves up, turn up for work, plaster a smile on when inside we are screaming. I wonder how many brave warriors we pass every single day. Putting one foot in front of the other and getting on with life. There is such a taboo around pregnancy loss. So we push down the pain and act like nothing has happened. How can this be healthy?

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